Contentment in Being a Wife and Mom

The world sends women so many mixed messages. You’re not a good wife/mom if you work outside the home. You’re not living up to your potential as a woman if you just want to be a wife/mom. There’s no winning for women in society; but if we take a step back and stop trying to live in the identities society creates and pushes, then we can find contentment in being a wife and mom, or whatever we choose for ourselves.

Choosing to be a Working Mom

When I married my husband, I became an instant mom to twin boys who were seven at the time. I was going to college full-time, working part-time, and learning how to be a wife and mom. While it was a little stressful, I enjoyed every part of it. In 2018, after 5 years of infertility, I became pregnant with my son. I was overjoyed! Working while being a wife and mom was stressful, but I still enjoyed every part of my life. Finding balance while working and being a mom wasn’t always easy and didn’t always happen, but that’s normal I think. I still found contentment in being a wife and mom.

I grew up in a home with two working parents and thought I’d work full time while raising my kids as well. It never really occurred to me that staying home with my children would be an option for me; so when my husband brought up the idea of me quitting my job as a high school teacher, it caught me off guard. I’d worked for years to get my degree in teaching. I loved teaching! It was my mission field. I loved my community, my administrators, coworkers, and students. Call me crazy, but teaching teenagers seemed way less daunting than staying home with my own infant/toddler.

Choosing to be a Stay at Home Mom

Now let me tell you some things that made me agree to staying home and eventually homeschooling my children. As a public school educator, about half my paycheck was going towards childcare with the birth of my second child. I also was privy to seeing the inner working of public education on students. As I watched my son at just three years old love to learn and be quick to pick up on new things, I was worried about how public education might change that.

I have seen the education system take kids who want to learn and learn quickly, and tell them to slow down and find something to do with their time because we can’t go too fast for others. There’s nothing wrong with students who need to take more time in their learning. Unfortunately the system is set up in a way that no one wins. Those who need more help can’t get it because there’s too many other students and those who are ready to move on can’t. I want my son to have the best opportunity to learn at his pace. The possibilities for learning for my kids are so exciting to me and I can’t wait to see everything my kids are capable.

Choosing Contentment in Being a Wife and Mom

It’s been one year since I left public school teaching and started to stay home with my kids. Truthfully, I still have moments where I miss what I did. I miss my students, my coworkers, those relationships. Yet I would not change the last year. It has been a year of building new relationships and developing my relationship with my children and husband more. It has found me learning contentment in being a wife and mom and homemaker. When I am doing my husband’s laundry I think how blessed I am that he works so hard so that I can be at home in the middle of the day doing his laundry. When my children bring me a sixth or seventh book to read, I am grateful that I’ve instilled a love of reading in them.

Dishes in the sink means my family ate well. Toys on the floor means I have children. There was once a time I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to have children. Do I still have days where the toys get to me? Absolutely. In those moments, I just have to step back and remind myself of my blessings. I like to have notes or cards with inspiration, scripture, or notes around the house to encourage and remind me. The main idea here is that we have to choose.

Choose what kind of wife and mom and woman you want to be and do it. Don’t let others try to define you or confine you. We always have the choice in how we want to live, how we want to feel. Choose to be content. Choose to find joy in the daily tasks.

“THE MOST IMPORTANT WORK YOU WILL EVER DO WILL BE WITHIN THE WALLS OF YOUR OWN HOME.”

I saw this quote on a piece of wall art at Hobby Lobby shortly after deciding to stay home. I bought it and it hangs on the wall above my desk as a reminder of what’s most important to me.

This quote came to me from a journal given out at a women’s conference. I tore the page out and hung it above my desk, too. Part of my job as a wife and mom is to make my home a sanctuary. Not just for my husband and children, but for anyone who steps inside. Even if life gets messy in the world, I want my home to be a refuge. This is something my parents gifted me with growing up and I want to give it to my children as well. I always felt safe in my childhood home – physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Make your home a sanctuary for your family. Be careful what you let into your home. Choose contentment in being a wife and mom. Choose to see the daily tasks as confirmation of a beautiful purpose in showing love and devotion to your family. If you’re a new wife and/or mom, find a woman who’s been at it for a while to come alongside you. If you’ve been a wife and/or mom for some years, find a new mom to encourage and mentor. We need to help each other, love on each other, and lift each other up. The world can get so negative, so find things that are positive and focus on those. Finally, remember that you are strong, beautiful, and needed.

Pin it for Later